Mu'awiyah asked: Messenger of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.
Abu Dawud said: The meaning of "do not revile her" is, as you say: "May Allah revile you".
Hadith Text & Context
The noble companion Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan (may Allah be pleased with him) inquired from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) regarding the rights a wife holds over her husband. This demonstrates the Companions' keenness to understand and fulfill their religious obligations in marital life.
Scholarly Commentary
"Give her food when you eat" - This establishes the fundamental obligation of maintenance (nafaqah). The husband must provide sustenance equivalent to his own standard, ensuring his wife does not suffer hunger while he eats.
"Clothe her when you clothe yourself" - This extends the maintenance obligation to clothing and shelter. The husband must provide attire suitable to his social standing and climate conditions, treating his wife with the same consideration he shows himself.
"Do not strike her on the face" - The face represents human dignity and beauty. Striking it causes particular humiliation and potential permanent disfigurement. While Islam permits disciplinary measures in extreme cases, this prohibition emphasizes respect for human dignity.
"Do not revile her" - As explained by Imam Abu Dawud, this prohibits cursing or invoking Allah's wrath upon one's wife. Such speech destroys marital harmony and contradicts the spirit of mercy and compassion that should characterize Muslim households.
"Do not separate yourself except in the house" - This prohibits abandoning sexual relations with one's wife as punishment (ilaa'). If a husband wishes to express displeasure, he should do so within the household without complete abandonment of marital relations, which protects the wife's rights and prevents undue hardship.
Legal & Ethical Implications
This hadith establishes the wife's fundamental rights to material maintenance, physical security, emotional dignity, and conjugal relations. Classical scholars like Imam Nawawi emphasized that these rights form the foundation of Islamic marriage law.
The prohibition against facial striking and revilement demonstrates Islam's emphasis on preserving human dignity even during disputes. Scholars note that while the Quran permits light disciplinary measures in cases of nushuz (rebellion), this hadith sets clear boundaries against excessive or humiliating treatment.
Contemporary Application
Modern Muslim husbands should understand these rights as non-negotiable religious obligations. The requirement to provide according to one's means remains relevant, though the standard of "when you eat/clothe yourself" now includes contemporary understandings of adequate housing, healthcare, and education.
The prohibitions against abuse take on greater significance in our time, where physical and verbal abuse are recognized as major social problems. Muslim communities should use this hadith to educate against domestic violence and promote the Prophetic model of kind treatment.