Nu'aym ibn Qa'nab said, "I went to Abu Dharr and did not find him at home. I asked his wife, 'Where is Abu Dharr?' 'Fetching some things for the house. He will be back presently.' I sat down to wait for him and he came with two camels. One of them was lined up behind the other and each of the camels had a waterskin on its neck. Abu Dharr took them off. Then he came and I said, 'Abu Dharr! There was no man who I desired to meet more than you and there was none that I hated to meet more than you!' He said, 'Your father is for Allah! How can these two be joined together?' I replied, 'In the Jahiliyya, a buried a daughter alive and I feared that I would meet you and you would say, "There is no way for you to repent. There is no way out." On the other hand, I used to hope that you would say, "There is a way for you to repent. There is a way out."' He asked," Did you do that in the Jahiliyah?" And Nuaym said "Yes.". Abu Dharr (ra) said," Allah has forgiven the sins committed earlier (before the Islamic times)". He then said to his wife," Bring us the meal." But she refused to do so. He then commanded her but she again refused to bring it and their voices were soon raised. Abu Dharr (ra) said," You will not go beyond what the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has said". Nuaym asked," What has the Messenger of Allah said about them?" Abu Dharr (ra) said," The Messenger of Allah has said that a woman is created from a crooked rib and if you attempt to straighten it you will break it but if you leave her alone you will enjoy her while the crookedness remains in her". His wife then turned her back to them and went away and brought thareed as though she matched the bird Qatah (in swiftness). He then said," you go ahead, eat the food. And do not worry (about eating alone). For I am fasting," he stood up to offer prayers and hurried to the bowing posture. After he had finished his prayer, he began to eat. Nuaym exclaimed, "We belong to Allah! I had given no thought to it that you would lie to me. You said just now that you were fasting and you have come to eat". He said,"Your father is for Allah! Ever since I have met you, I have not spoken a lie." Nuaym said, "Did you not tell me that you were fasting?" He said,"Yes. I have kept three fasts in this month so that the reward for it is written down for me while it is lawful for me to eat too.
The Excellence of Repentance and Divine Forgiveness
This narration from Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 747 demonstrates the comprehensive nature of Allah's mercy. Nu'aym's anxiety about his pre-Islamic sin of burying his daughter alive reflects the weight of such actions on the conscience. Abu Dharr's immediate response—"Allah has forgiven the sins committed earlier"—reveals the transformative power of Islam, which wipes clean the slate of pre-Islamic polytheism and its accompanying practices. This aligns with Quranic teachings where Allah says, "Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease, what has previously occurred will be forgiven for them" (8:38).
The Wisdom in Dealing with Spouses
Abu Dharr's handling of his wife's initial refusal to bring food exemplifies prophetic wisdom in marital relations. Rather than escalating conflict, he reminded her—and himself—of the Prophet's teaching that "a woman is created from a crooked rib." This metaphor, recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, teaches men to approach marital differences with patience and understanding rather than forceful correction.
The immediate transformation in his wife's attitude—swiftly bringing food "as though she matched the bird Qatah in swiftness"—demonstrates how gentle reminders of prophetic guidance can be more effective than harsh confrontation in resolving domestic matters.
The Flexibility in Voluntary Worship
Abu Dharr's breaking of his voluntary fast illustrates an important principle in Islamic jurisprudence: the permissibility of breaking nafl (voluntary) fasts without requiring qada (make-up). Scholars like Imam An-Nawawi explain that while completing voluntary acts is preferable, there is no sin in breaking them since they are not obligatory. This reflects the ease and flexibility Islam provides in supererogatory worship, distinguishing it from obligatory acts which require compensation if broken without valid reason.
The Nature of Truthfulness
When Nu'aym accused Abu Dharr of lying about his fast, the companion clarified that he had indeed been fasting but chose to break it lawfully. This teaches us that truthfulness involves accurate representation of facts, not rigid adherence to initial intentions. Islamic scholars note that voluntary fasts can be broken for various reasons—including hospitality—without compromising one's truthfulness, as the original statement of fasting was factually correct at the time it was uttered.