Bahz ibn Hakim's grandfather said, "I asked, 'Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?' 'Your mother,' he replied. I asked, 'Then whom?' 'Your mother,' he replied. I asked, 'Then whom?' 'Your mother,' he replied. I asked, 'Then to whom should I be dutiful?' 'Your father,' he replied, 'and then the next closest relative and then the next.'"
Exposition of the Hadith on Parental Rights
This narration from Bahz ibn Hakim's grandfather, recorded in Imam al-Bukhari's "Al-Adab Al-Mufrad" (Chapter 3), presents one of the most emphatic declarations in Islamic tradition regarding the supreme status of mothers. The Prophet's repetition of "your mother" three times before mentioning the father demonstrates the mother's preeminent right to kindness, service, and dutifulness from her children.
Scholarly Commentary on Maternal Priority
Classical scholars explain that the mother receives this triple emphasis due to the unparalleled hardships she endures: carrying the child during pregnancy, the perils of childbirth, and the prolonged period of nursing and nurturing. Each repetition corresponds to one of these three great sacrifices that only the mother bears.
Imam al-Qurtubi notes that while both parents deserve honor and obedience (within permissible bounds), the mother's rights are emphasized due to her greater physical and emotional investment in the child's early development.
Hierarchy of Familial Responsibilities
After establishing the mother's paramount rights, the Prophet then mentions the father, followed by other close relatives. This establishes a clear hierarchy in birr (righteous dutifulness): mother, father, then other relatives according to their closeness of kinship.
Scholars interpret "the next closest relative and then the next" as referring to the order of inheritance in Islamic law - beginning with the closest blood relatives and moving outward. This teaching connects ethical obligations with legal inheritance rights, creating a comprehensive system of familial responsibility.
Practical Implications for Muslim Conduct
This hadith establishes that birr al-walidayn (dutifulness to parents) remains obligatory even after their passing through prayers for them, honoring their friends, and maintaining ties with those they loved.
The only exception to obeying parents is if they command something that constitutes disobedience to Allah, in which case the child must respectfully decline while still maintaining kind treatment and financial support if needed.