Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Do not hate one another, nor be jealous of one another; and do not desert one another, but O Allah's worshipers! Be Brothers! And it is unlawful for a Muslim to desert his brother Muslim (and not to talk to him) for more than three nights."
Hadith Text and Context
"Do not hate one another, nor be jealous of one another; and do not desert one another, but O Allah's worshipers! Be Brothers! And it is unlawful for a Muslim to desert his brother Muslim (and not to talk to him) for more than three nights."
This profound narration from Sahih al-Bukhari 6076 in the Book of Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab) addresses fundamental principles of Islamic brotherhood and social conduct.
Prohibition of Hatred and Envy
The Prophet (ﷺ) begins by prohibiting hatred (baghdā') and envy (hasad), which are spiritual diseases that corrupt the heart. Hatred stems from displeasure with Allah's decree regarding others' blessings, while envy involves wishing for the removal of blessings from others.
Scholars explain that these negative emotions are gateways to greater sins and disrupt the unity of the Muslim community. The heart must be purified through remembrance of Allah and contentment with His distribution of provisions.
The Prohibition of Desertion
"Do not desert one another" refers to cutting relations and abandoning fellow Muslims. Desertion (tahājur) involves turning away from a Muslim brother, refusing to speak to him, or severing ties without legitimate Islamic cause.
Imam An-Nawawi comments that this prohibition applies to desertion arising from worldly matters, not when required for religious correction of open sin.
The Call to Brotherhood
"Be Brothers!" represents the foundational principle of Islamic social relations. This brotherhood transcends blood relations and tribal affiliations, being rooted in shared faith (īmān).
Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani explains that this brotherhood entails mutual rights and responsibilities: assisting one another, offering sincere counsel, covering faults, and maintaining goodwill.
The Three-Night Limit
The specification of three nights as the maximum permissible period for desertion indicates the seriousness of prolonged estrangement. Scholars note that this timeframe allows for cooling of tempers while preventing permanent rupture.
The one who initiates greeting and reconciliation receives greater reward. Exceptions exist for cases where maintaining distance serves a greater religious benefit, such as avoiding fitnah or preventing sin.
Practical Implementation
This hadith teaches Muslims to actively nurture community bonds, control negative emotions, and prioritize reconciliation. The believer must regularly examine his heart, seeking Allah's protection from hatred and envy.
When disputes occur, the Islamic approach is swift resolution within the three-day limit, with the better person initiating peace. This preserves the unity and strength of the Muslim ummah as intended by our noble Prophet (ﷺ).