Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "It is not lawful for a man to desert his brother Muslim for more than three nights. (It is unlawful for them that) when they meet, one of them turns his face away from the other, and the other turns his face from the former, and the better of the two will be the one who greets the other first."
Hadith Text and Context
This noble hadith from Sahih al-Bukhari (6077) addresses the prohibition of prolonged estrangement between Muslims. The Prophet (ﷺ) establishes a maximum period of three nights for permissible separation, after which maintaining hostility becomes religiously unlawful (haram).
Scholarly Commentary on the Three-Night Limit
Imam al-Nawawi explains that this three-day period represents a reasonable timeframe for emotions to settle and reconciliation to occur. Scholars note this applies to disputes not involving religious principles - where matters of faith are concerned, separation may be obligatory.
Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani clarifies that the count begins from when the estrangement becomes mutual. If one party continues greeting the other, the sin applies only to the one refusing response.
The Spiritual Danger of Turning Away
The physical act of turning one's face away symbolizes spiritual alienation and breaking the bonds of brotherhood (silat al-rahim). Al-Qurtubi warns this action hardens hearts and destroys the foundation of Muslim community.
Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali notes that prolonged estrangement provides Satan continuous opportunity to sow further discord and justify the initial dispute.
The Virtue of Initiating Reconciliation
The hadith's conclusion establishes immense reward for the one who initiates greeting. Al-Ghazali explains this demonstrates greater God-consciousness (taqwa) and strength of character.
Scholars emphasize that the "better" person isn't necessarily the one more correct in the original dispute, but rather the one who prioritizes Islamic brotherhood over personal pride.
Practical Implementation in Good Manners (Al-Adab)
Classical scholars advise that if one fears rejection when initiating reconciliation, they should still offer the Islamic greeting (salam) clearly. If unanswered, they have fulfilled their religious duty.
Imam Malik records that the righteous predecessors would sometimes send a third party to facilitate reconciliation before direct meeting, demonstrating the importance of restoring relations within the prescribed timeframe.