Anas bin Malik said to a woman of his family, "Do you know such-and-such a woman?" She replied, "Yes." He said, "The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by her while she was weeping over a grave, and he said to her, 'Be afraid of Allah and be patient.' The woman said (to the Prophet). 'Go away from me, for you do not know my calamity.'" Anas added, "The Prophet (ﷺ) left her and proceeded. A man passed by her and asked her, 'What has Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to you?' She replied, 'I did not recognize him.' The man said, 'He was Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)."' Anas added, "So that woman came to the gate of the Prophet (ﷺ) and she did not find a gate-keeper there, and she said, 'O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! By Allah. I did not recognize you!' The Prophet said, 'No doubt, patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.'"
Hadith Commentary from Sahih al-Bukhari
This narration from Sahih al-Bukhari 7154 in the Book of Judgments (Ahkaam) contains profound wisdom regarding patience during calamities and the proper Islamic conduct when facing trials.
The Incident and Its Context
The Prophet (ﷺ) encountered a woman weeping excessively over a grave, which indicates this was more than natural grief but rather immoderate lamentation that violates Islamic teachings.
His initial advice "Be afraid of Allah and be patient" represents the fundamental Islamic response to calamity - consciousness of Allah coupled with steadfastness.
Scholarly Analysis of the Woman's Response
The woman's sharp retort demonstrates how overwhelming grief can cloud one's judgment and recognition, even causing one to speak improperly to Allah's Messenger.
The Prophet's withdrawal without reprimand shows his magnificent character and understanding of human weakness during distress.
The Essence of Patience (Sabr)
The Prophet's definitive statement "Patience is at the first stroke of a calamity" establishes that true sabr manifests immediately when tragedy strikes, not after emotional turmoil subsides.
This teaching emphasizes that the initial reaction to misfortune is the true measure of one's faith and trust in Allah's decree.
Legal and Spiritual Implications
Excessive weeping and loud lamentation over graves is prohibited as it indicates dissatisfaction with Allah's decree and weakness in faith.
The incident demonstrates the importance of maintaining proper conduct even in grief and the necessity of immediate patience as an act of worship.
The woman's subsequent seeking of forgiveness shows the importance of rectifying errors and demonstrates the mercy inherent in Islamic teachings.