Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness."
Hadith Text and Context
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness." (Sahih al-Bukhari 5184)
This hadith appears in the Book of Wedlock and Marriage (Nikaah) and provides profound guidance on marital relationships.
Metaphorical Explanation
The Prophet (ﷺ) employs the metaphor of a rib to illustrate the natural disposition of women. Just as a rib has inherent curvature and cannot be forcibly straightened without breaking, a woman possesses natural characteristics that cannot be completely altered without causing harm.
This analogy emphasizes that women's nature, with its unique qualities and inclinations, is part of Allah's perfect creation and should be respected rather than opposed.
Scholarly Interpretation
Classical scholars explain that this hadith teaches husbands to exercise wisdom, patience, and gentle treatment toward their wives. The "crookedness" refers to natural human imperfections and individual characteristics that are part of one's God-given nature.
Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani comments that attempting to "straighten" means trying to completely change a woman's inherent nature, which leads to marital discord and breakdown.
Practical Application in Marriage
The hadith guides husbands to accept their wives as they are, focusing on their positive qualities rather than demanding perfection. It encourages accommodation and understanding rather than confrontation.
Benefiting from the relationship "while she still has some crookedness" means appreciating and utilizing her strengths while accepting minor shortcomings, as this approach preserves love and harmony.
Broader Wisdom
This teaching extends beyond gender relations to human interactions in general - accepting others with their imperfections and dealing with people according to their nature.
The Prophetic wisdom emphasizes that successful relationships are built on mutual accommodation and the recognition that perfection is only with Allah.