Mishkat al-Masabih

Chapter 27: Sharing Visits to one’s Wives Equally - Section 1

She said that when God’s Messenger intended to go on a journey he cast lots among his wives and the one who was chosen by lot went on it with him. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Abu Qilaba quoted Anas as saying

It pertains to the sunna that when a man who has a wife marries a virgin he should stay with her for seven nights and then divide the time between them, but if he marries a woman who has been previously married he should stay with her three nights and then divide his time between his wives. Abu (Qilaba remarked that if he wished he could say that Anas traced it to the Prophet.(Bukhari and Muslim.)

Abu Bakr b. ‘Abd ar-Rahman told that when God’s Messenger married Umm Salama he said to her in the morning, “You are not being humbled in my estimation. If you wish I shall stay with you seven nights as I did with my other wives, but if you wish I shall stay three and then visit my wives in turn.” She replied, “Stay three nights.” In a version he said, “The virgin gets seven nights and the woman who has had a previous husband three.” Muslim transmitted it.

Chapter 28: Sharing Visits to one’s Wives Equally - Section 2

‘A’isha told that the Prophet used to divide his time among his wives equally and say, “O God, this is my division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning what Thou possessest and I do not.”Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nasa’i, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it.

Abu Huraira reported the Prophet as saying, “When a man has two wives and does not treat them equally he will come on the day of resurrection with a side hanging down.” Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nasa’i, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it.

Chapter 29: Sharing Visits to one’s Wives Equally - Section 3

‘Ata’ told that when they were with Ibn ‘Abbas at Maimuna’s funeral in Sarif he said, “This is God’s Messenger’s wife, so when you lift her bier do not shake her or disturb her, but be gentle with her, for God’s Messenger had nine wives with eight of whom he shared his time, but to one of them he did not allot a share.” ‘Ata’ said they heard that the one to whom God’s Messenger did not allot a share was Safiya who was the last of them to die. She died in Medina. Razin said that someone other than ‘Ata’ declared she was Sauda, and that is sounder. She gave her day to ‘A’isha when God's Messenger intended to divorce her, saying to him, “Keep me. I have given my day to ‘A’isha. Perhaps I may be one of your wives in paradise.”(Bukhari and Muslim.)

Chapter 30: The Treatment of Wives, and the Rights of each - Section 1

Abu Huraira reported God's Messenger as saying, “Act kindly toward women, for they were created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly towards women.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “Woman has been created from a rib and will in no way be straight for you; so if you enjoy her you will do so while crookedness remains in her; but if you attempt to straighten her you will break her, breaking her being divorcing her.” Muslim transmitted it.

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “A believer must not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” Muslim transmitted it.

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “Had it not been for the B. Isra’il meat would not have gone bad, and had it not been for Eve a woman would never have acted unfaithfully towards her husband.’’ (Bukhari and Muslim.)

‘Abdallah b. Zam'a reported God’s Messenger as saying, “None of you must whip his wife as a slave is whipped and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day.” A version has, “One of you has recourse to whipping his wife as a slave is whipped and perhaps he lies with her at the end of the day.” He then gave them an exhortation about laughing when someone breaks wind, saying, “Why does one of you laugh at what he does himself?” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

‘A’isha said

I was playing with dolls in the Prophet’s house and I had companions who played with me; but when God’s Messenger entered they would withdraw from him. He would then send them to me and they would play with me. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

She said

I swear by God that I have seen the Prophet standing at the door of my room when the Abyssinians were playing with spears in the mosque and God’s Messenger was covering me with his cloak in order that I might look over his shoulder* at their sport. He would then stand for my sake till I was the one who departed; so estimate the time a young girl eager for amusement would wait.”* Literally “between his ear and his shoulder.”(Bukhari and Muslim.)

She told that God’s Messenger said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me and when you are angry with me.” She asked how he knew that and he replied that when she was pleased with him she said, ‘'No, by Muhammad’s Lord,” but when she was angry with him she said, “No, by Abraham's Lord.” She then said, “I swear by God, Messenger of God, that that is so; it is only your name that I omit.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Abu Huraira reported God's Messenger as saying, “When a woman who has been called to come to her husband’s bed refuses and he spends the night angry, the angels curse her till the morning.” In a version by both of them he said, “By Him in whose hand my soul is, if any woman who has been called to come to her husband’s bed refuses, He who is in heaven is displeased with her till her t husband is pleased with her.”(Bukhari and Muslim.)

Asma’ told of a woman who said, “Messenger of God, I have a fellow-wife; will it be wrong for me to boast of receiving from my husband what he does not give me?” He replied, “The one who boasts of receiving what he has not been given is like him who has put on the two garments of falsehood.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Anas said that God’s Messenger swore he would stay away from his wives for a month. His foot being dislocated, he stayed in an upper room for twenty-nine nights and then came down; and when it was remarked to him that he has sworn to stay away for a month, he replied, “The month has twenty-nine days.”**This is most probably with reference to the month in question, as it cannot be considered a general statement.Bukhari transmitted it.

Jabir said

Abu Bakr came and asked permission to go in to see the Prophet, but found the people seated at his door, none of them having been given permission. Permission was, however, given to Abu Bakr and he entered. ‘Umar then came forward, and when he had asked and had been granted permission he found the Prophet sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He told that he decided to say something which would make the Prophet laugh, so he said, “Messenger of God, I wish you had seen the daughter of Kharija when she asked me for extra money and I got up and slapped her on the neck.” God's Messenger laughed and said, “They are around me as you see asking for extra money.” Abu Bakr then got up, went to ‘A’isha and slapped her on the neck, and ‘Umar did the same to Hafsa, both of them saying, “Are you asking God’s Messenger for what he does not possess?” They all replied, “We swear by God that we never ask God’s Messenger for anything he does not possess.” Thereafter he withdrew from them for a month or twenty-nine days. Then this verse came down, “O prophet, say to your wives ... for those who do well among you a great reward” (Al-Qur’an 33:28 f). He then went first to ‘A’isha and said, “I want to propound something to you, ‘A’isha, but wish no hasty reply before you consult your parents.” When she had asked him what it was and he had recited the verse to her she said, “Shall I consult my parents about you, Messenger of God? Nay, I choose God, His Messenger, and the final abode; but I ask you not to tell any of your wives what I have said.” He replied, “Not one of them will ask me without my informing her. God did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but sent me to teach and make things easy.” Muslim transmitted it.

‘A’isha said

Being jealous of the women who offered themselves to God's Messenger I asked, “Does a woman offer herself?” Then when God most high sent down, “You may defer any of them you wish and take to yourself any you wish, and if you desire any you have set aside no sin is chargeable to you” (Al-Qur’an 33:51) said, “It seems to me that your Lord hastens to satisfy your desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Chapter 31: The Treatment of Wives, and the Rights of each - Section 2

'A'isha told that when she was with God's Messenger on a journey she raced him on foot and beat him, but when she grew she raced him and he beat her. He said, “This makes up for that beating." Abu Dawud transmitted it.