It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: "It was said to the Messenger of Allah: 'Which woman is best?' He said: 'The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.'"
Hadith Text & Reference
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: "It was said to the Messenger of Allah: 'Which woman is best?' He said: 'The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.'"
Source: Sunan an-Nasa'i 3231 | The Book of Marriage
Commentary on the Qualities of the Best Wife
1. Pleasing Appearance: "Makes him happy when he looks at her" indicates the importance of a wife maintaining an attractive appearance for her husband, observing proper adornment within Islamic boundaries, and displaying a cheerful countenance that brings joy to the marital home.
2. Obedience in Righteousness: "Obeys him when he commands her" refers to obedience in matters that are pleasing to Allah. This obedience is conditional upon the husband's commands not contradicting Islamic law. A wife is not obliged to obey in sinful matters, as there is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator.
3. Protection of Self and Wealth: "Does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth" signifies guarding her chastity and protecting the husband's rights over her person, while also being trustworthy with family resources. This includes not spending his wealth without permission and preserving marital fidelity.
Scholarly Insights
This hadith outlines three fundamental pillars of successful marriage from the Islamic perspective. Scholars emphasize these are reciprocal rights - just as the wife has these responsibilities, the husband has corresponding duties of kind treatment, providing maintenance, and protecting her rights.
Imam an-Nawawi comments that these qualities create marital harmony and strengthen the foundation of the Muslim family. The emphasis on visual pleasure underscores the Islamic recognition of natural human inclinations within the sacred bond of marriage.
Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani notes that this description represents the ideal character of a righteous wife who contributes to household tranquility (sakinah) and embodies the Quranic description of wives as "garments" for their husbands - providing comfort, protection, and beauty.