"A previously married woman should not be married until her permission has been sought, and a virgin should not be married until her consent is sought." They said: "O Messenger of Allah, how does she give her permission?" He said: "Her permission is if she keeps silent."
Hadith Text & Context
The narration from Sunan an-Nasa'i 3265 establishes the fundamental Islamic principle that a woman's consent is a mandatory condition for the validity of marriage. This ruling applies universally, to both the previously married woman (thayyib) and the virgin (bikr).
Scholarly Commentary: The Requirement of Consent
The scholars unanimously agree that the consent of a sane, adult woman is a pillar (rukn) of the marriage contract. A marriage contracted without her valid consent is considered void (batil). This hadith elevates the status of women in Islamic law, granting them agency over one of life's most significant commitments.
The distinction between the two categories of women lies not in the necessity of consent, but in the method of seeking it. A previously married woman, being experienced, is to be asked directly and her verbal permission is required. For a virgin, due to her natural shyness (haya'), a different standard of consent is recognized.
The Virgin's Silence as Consent
The Prophet's clarification that a virgin's permission is her silence is a profound legal and social concession. It is not a mere absence of speech, but a silence that occurs in a specific context: after the marriage proposal has been formally presented to her and she has been given a genuine opportunity to object.
Classical commentators like Imam an-Nawawi explain that this silence is interpreted as consent because it is the customary way a virgin expresses approval, out of modesty and respect. However, if she explicitly refuses, her refusal is binding and the marriage cannot proceed. Her silence is a form of tacit approval (iqrar) that carries the full weight of a legal declaration.
Legal Rulings & Practical Application
The guardians (wali) in marriage, typically the father or closest male relative, have the responsibility to seek the woman's consent and act in her best interest. They cannot compel her into a marriage she does not desire. The role of the guardian is to facilitate a sound marriage, not to impose his will.
This hadith, from The Book of Marriage in Sunan an-Nasa'i, dismantles any pre-Islamic customs of forced marriage. It establishes a woman's right to choose her spouse, ensuring that the foundation of the family is mutual agreement and willingness, which is essential for the peace, love, and mercy that God has ordained for the marital relationship.