Hadith Text & Context

"Seek the permission of women with regard to marriage." It was said: "What if a virgin is too shy and remains silent?" He said: "That is her permission." (Sunan an-Nasa'i 3266)

This noble hadith from The Book of Marriage in Sunan an-Nasa'i establishes the fundamental Islamic principle that a woman's consent is mandatory for marriage validity, addressing the delicate matter of female modesty in expressing agreement.

Scholarly Commentary

The command "seek permission" (istī'dhān) demonstrates that marriage without female consent is religiously invalid. Classical scholars like Imam Nawawi explain this establishes the woman's right to choose her spouse, as marriage is a sacred contract requiring mutual consent.

The Prophet's ﷺ clarification regarding the silent virgin reflects profound understanding of human nature. Scholars note that silence in this context indicates consent, not coercion, as true reluctance would manifest through verbal refusal or clear signs of displeasure.

Imam al-Suyuti comments that this ruling protects women's dignity while respecting cultural norms of modesty. The silence of a virgin—when not accompanied by refusal—is interpreted as approval, balancing Islamic requirements with social customs.

Legal Implications

Hanafi jurists state that a mature woman's marriage without her explicit consent is void, while Malikis emphasize that even a virgin's silence must be free from coercion. Shafi'i scholars differentiate between the bashful silence of consent and the silence of displeasure.

Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi (Hanbali) notes that guardians cannot force marriage upon women, as the Prophet ﷺ said: "The virgin should not be married until her permission is sought." This hadith complements and clarifies that ruling.

Contemporary Application

This teaching establishes women's autonomy in marital choice while accommodating cultural expressions of modesty. Modern scholars emphasize that in today's context, clear verbal consent is preferable when possible, though the principle of interpreting respectful silence as consent remains valid.

The wisdom of this ruling prevents forced marriages while respecting the natural shyness that often accompanies this blessed union, ensuring Islamic marriage remains a partnership founded upon mutual willingness and divine blessing.