Marriage - Mishkat al-Masabih 3239

He reported God's Messenger as saying, "Woman has been created from a rib and will in no way be straight for you; so if you enjoy her you will do so while crookedness remains in her; but if you attempt to straighten her you will break her, breaking her being divorcing her." Muslim transmitted it.

Commentary on the Hadith

This noble hadith employs a profound metaphor to illustrate the inherent nature of women and provides essential guidance for marital conduct. The reference to creation from a rib alludes to the creation of Hawwa (Eve) from the rib of Adam, peace be upon them, as mentioned in the Quranic narrative.

The "crookedness" mentioned does not denote moral deficiency, but rather refers to the natural psychological and emotional disposition unique to women. Just as a rib has a natural curvature essential to its function in the body, so too does a woman possess inherent qualities that define her feminine nature.

The wisdom in this teaching directs men to exercise patience, understanding, and accommodation in marital relations. Attempting to "straighten" one's wife means trying to fundamentally alter her God-given nature through harshness or excessive criticism, which inevitably leads to the breakdown of the marriage bond.

The final warning equating "breaking her" with divorce serves as a grave reminder that intolerance toward a wife's natural disposition can destroy the marriage itself. This teaching encourages husbands to appreciate their wives' unique qualities and to approach differences with wisdom and compassion rather than confrontation.

Practical Application

This hadith teaches that successful marriage requires accepting one's spouse as Allah created them, focusing on their virtues while tolerating minor imperfections.

Husbands should cultivate patience and avoid demanding perfection, recognizing that differences in temperament are part of the divine wisdom in creation.

The metaphor serves as a reminder that forcing change in fundamental aspects of one's spouse's nature leads to marital discord rather than harmony.