I was sitting by the side of Ibn 'Umar, and we were waiting for the bier of Umm Aban, daughter of 'Uthman, and there was also 'Amr b. 'Uthman. In the meanwhile there came Ibn 'Abbas led by a guide. I conceive that he was informed of the place of Ibn 'Umar. So he came till he sat by my side. While I was between them (Ibn 'Abbas and Ibn 'Umar) there came the noise (of wailing) from the house. Upon this Ibn 'Umar said (that is, he pointed out to 'Amr that he should stand and forbid them, for): I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying: The dead is punished because of the lamentation of his family. 'Abdullah made it general (what was said for a particular occasion). Ibn 'Abbas said: When we were with the Commander of the believers, 'Umar b. Khattab, we reached Baida', and there was a man under the shadow of the tree. He said to me: Go and inform me who is that person. So I went and (found) that he was Suhaib. I returned to him and said: You commanded me to find out for you who that was, and he is Suhaib. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Command him to see us. I said: He has family along with him. He said: (That is of no account) even if he has family along with him. So he (the narrator) told him to see (the Commander of the believers and his party). When we came (to Medina), it was before long that the Commander of the believers was wounded, and Suhaib came weeping and crying: Alas for the brother, alas for the companion. Upon this 'Umar said: Didn't you know, or didn't you hear, that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:" The dead is punished because of the lamentation of his family"? Then 'Abdullah made it general and 'Umar told it of certain occasions. So I ('Abdullah b. Abu Mulaika) stood up and went to 'A'isha and told her what Ibn 'Umar had said. Upon this she said: I swear by Allah that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) never said that dead would be punished because of his family's lamenting (for him). What he said was that Allah would increase the punishment of the unbeliever because of his family's lamenting for him. Verily it is Allah Who has caused laughter and weeping. No bearer of a burden will bear another's burden. Ibn Abu Mulaika said that al-Qasim b. Muhammad said that when the words of 'Umar and Ibn 'Umar were conveyed to 'A'isha, she said: You have narrated it to me from those who are neither liar nor those suspected of lying but (sometimes) hearing misleads.
The Book of Prayer - Funerals
Sahih Muslim 928a, 927h, 929a
Commentary on the Prohibition of Excessive Lamentation
This narration addresses the important matter of wailing and excessive lamentation over the deceased. Ibn 'Umar understood the Prophet's statement in a general sense, applying it to all Muslims who are lamented over. However, the Mother of the Believers 'A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) clarified that the punishment mentioned specifically applies to disbelievers, not believing Muslims.
Scholarly Reconciliation of Apparent Contradiction
The apparent contradiction between these narrations is resolved through careful examination. 'A'isha explained that the Prophet's statement concerned the disbeliever whose punishment is increased when his family laments excessively over him. This does not apply to believers, as Allah says: "No bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another" (Qur'an 6:164).
Principles of Hadith Understanding
This incident demonstrates the importance of verifying narrations and seeking clarification from those most knowledgeable. 'A'isha's correction shows how companions would critically examine transmissions, acknowledging that even truthful narrators might misunderstand or mishear. The principle established is that general texts must be understood in light of specific clarifications.
Practical Ruling on Mourning
The authentic position is that while excessive wailing and professional mourning are forbidden, natural tears and grief are permitted. The believer's soul benefits from the supplications of living relatives, not their excessive lamentations. This balance preserves the dignity of Islamic funeral rites while acknowledging human emotion.