Do you kiss your children? He said: Yes. Thereupon they said: By Allah but we do not kiss our children. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Then what can I do if Allah has deprived you of mercy? Ibn Numair said: (We has deprived) your heart of mercy.
The Book of Virtues - Sahih Muslim 2317
This narration from Sahih Muslim highlights the profound importance of showing affection and mercy toward children, which is considered a manifestation of divine mercy in the human heart.
Contextual Analysis
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was asked by his companions whether he kissed his own children. When he affirmed this practice, some companions expressed their astonishment, revealing they did not kiss their children.
The Prophet's response carries deep spiritual significance: "Then what can I do if Allah has deprived you of mercy?" indicating that the natural affection parents show toward children is a blessing and mercy from Allah.
Scholarly Commentary
Classical scholars explain that showing affection to children is not merely a cultural practice but a sunnah (prophetic tradition) that reflects the mercy Allah places in believers' hearts.
Ibn Numair's clarification "your heart of mercy" emphasizes that the deficiency lies not in Allah's general mercy but in the specific mercy that should naturally reside in a parent's heart toward their offspring.
Scholars note that this hadith teaches that parental affection is a barometer of one's spiritual state - when the heart becomes hardened and incapable of showing natural mercy to one's own children, this indicates a serious spiritual deficiency.
Practical Implications
This teaching establishes that expressing physical affection toward children is not only permissible but encouraged in Islam.
The narration serves as a reminder that Islamic spirituality encompasses all aspects of human relationships, including the most natural expressions of love within the family.
Muslim scholars throughout history have cited this hadith to emphasize that true faith softens the heart and makes one more merciful, not less.