"Umar bin Al-Khattab said: 'Do not exaggerate in the dowries of women. If doing so was honorable in the world or Taqwa before Allah then Allah's Prophet would have been the first of you to do it. I do not know of the Messenger of Allah marrying any of his women, nor giving any of his daughters in marriage, for more than twelve Uqiyah."
Hadith Commentary: The Prohibition of Exaggerated Dowries
This noble narration from Sayyiduna 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) addresses a critical social issue that remains relevant across generations. The Companion draws upon the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the ultimate standard for Muslim conduct, particularly in matters of marriage.
The Prophetic Standard in Dowry
Sayyiduna 'Umar establishes that if excessive dowries carried any virtue in this world or piety before Allah, the Messenger of Allah would have been the first to practice it. This argument follows the established principle that the Prophet's example represents the perfect balance in all matters of religion and worldly affairs.
The practical evidence cited—that neither in his own marriages nor in marrying off his daughters did the Prophet exceed twelve uqiyah (approximately 480 dirhams of silver)—serves as a definitive benchmark. This amount, while substantial enough to honor the bride, remained within moderate means, ensuring marriage remained accessible.
Scholarly Interpretation and Rulings
Classical scholars like Imam al-Tirmidhi, Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, and others have explained that this hadith demonstrates the Sunnah's emphasis on facilitating marriage rather than creating financial barriers. The prohibition here is against "exaggeration" (al-ghuluww), meaning demands that exceed customary practice and create hardship.
Jurists have noted that the essence of the dowry (mahr) is its symbolic value as a token of commitment, not its monetary worth. The Shari'ah encourages simplicity in marriage arrangements to preserve the spiritual and social objectives of the institution.
Contemporary Application
This teaching directly addresses the cultural practices in many Muslim societies where extravagant dowries have become a source of pride and competition, often delaying marriages or causing financial distress. The Prophetic guidance reminds believers that true honor lies in following the Sunnah, not in worldly displays.
Scholars advise that while the specific amount may vary according to time and place, the principle of moderation remains constant. The best dowry is that which is easy to fulfill and does not burden the groom, thus fulfilling the Sunnah's objective of making marriage easy and widespread within the Muslim community.