The Book of Manners and Etiquette

كتاب الآداب

Chapter 6: It Is Permissible To Say: "O My Son" To Someone Other Than One's Son, And It Is Recommended To Speak Kindly

This hadith has been reported on the authority of Ismail, with the same chain of transmitters but with a slight variation of wording.

Chapter 7: Seeking Permission To Enter A House

Abu Sa'id Khudri reported

I was sitting in Medina in the company of the Ansar when Abu Musa came trembling with fear. We said to him: What is the matter? He said: 'Umar (Allah be pleased with him) sent for me. I went to him and paid him salutation thrice at (his) door but he made no response to me and so I came back. Thereupon he ('Umar) said: What stood in your way that you did not turn up? I said: I did come to you and paid you salutations at your door three times but I was not given any response, so I came back as the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has said: When any one of you seeks permission three times and he is not granted permission, he should come back. Umar said: Bring a witness to support that you say, otherwise I shall take you to task. Ubayy b. Ka'b said: None should stand with him (as a witness) but the youngest amongst the people. Abu Sa'id said: I am the youngest amongst the people, whereupon he said: Then you go with him (to support his contention).

This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Yazid b. Khusaifa with the same chain of transmitters but with this addition

Abu Sa'id said: So I stood up, and went to 'Umar and gave witness (to what Abu Musa had said).

Abd Sa'id Khudri reported

We were in the company of Ubayy b. Ka'b that Abu Musa Ash'ari came there in a state of anger. He stood (before us) and said: I ask you to bear witness in the name of Allah whether anyone amongst you heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: Permission (for entering the house) should be sought three times and if permission is granted to you (then get in). otherwise go back. Ubayy b. Ka'b said: What is the iiiatter? He said: I sought permission yesterday from 'Umar b. Khattab three times but he did not permit me, so I came back; then I went to him today and visited him and informed him that I had come to him yesterday and greeted him thrice, then came back, whereupon he said: Yes, we did hear you but be were at that time busy, but why did you not seek permission (further and you must have never gone back until you were permitted to do so). He said: I sought permission (in the manner) that I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) having said (in connection 'With the seeking of permission for entering the house of a stranger). Thereupon he (Hadrat Umar) said: By Allah, I shall torture your back and your stomach unless you bring one who may bear witness to what you state. 'Ubayy b. Ka'b said: By Allah, none should stand with you (to bear testimony) but the youngest amongst us. And he therefore, said to Abu Sa'id: Stand up. So I stood up until I came to Umar and said: I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) say this.

Abu Sa'id reported that Abu Musa al-Ash'ari came to the door of 'Umar and sought his permission (to get into his house). Umar said

That is once. He again sought permission for the second time and 'Umar said: It is twice. He again sought permission for the third time and Umar said: It is thrice. He (Abu Musa) then went back. He (Hadrat 'Umar) (sent someone) to pursue him so that he should be brought back. Thereupon he (Hadrat Umar) said: If this act (of yours is in accordance with the command of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) you have preserved in your mind, then it is all right, otherwise (I shall give you such a severe punishment) that it will serve as an example to others. Abu Sa'id said: Then he (Abu Musa) came to us and said: Do you remember Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) having said this:" Permission is for three times"? They (Companions sitting in that cothpany) began to laugh, whereupon he (Abu Musa) said: There comes to you your Muslim brother who had been perturbed and you laugh. Abu Sa'id said: (Well), you go forth. I shall be your participant in this trouble of yours. So he came to him (Hadrat Umar) and said: Here is Abu Sa'id (to support my statement).

This hadith bu been narrated on the authority of Abu Sa'id Khudri through another chain of transmitters.

'Ubaid b. Umair reported that Abu Musa brought permission from Umar (to enter the house) three times, and finding him busy came back, whereupon Umar said (to the Inmates of his house)

Did you not hear the voice of 'Abdullah b. Qais (the Kunya of Abu Musa Ash'ari)? He was called back. and he (Hadrat 'Umar) said: What did prompt you to do it? Thereupon, he said: This is how we have been commanded to act. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Bring evidence (in support of) it, otherwise I shall deal (strictly) with you. So he (Abu Musa) set out and came to the meeting of the Ansar and asked them to bear witness before hadrat Umar about this. They (the Companions present there) said: None but the youngest amongst us would bear out this fact. So Abu Sa'id Khudri (who was the youngest one in that company) said: We have been commanded to do so (while visiting the house of other people). Thereupon 'Umar said: This command of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) had remained hidden from me up till now due to (my) business in the market.

This hadith has been transmitted on the authority of Ibn Juraij, but there is no mention of the words" business in the market".

Abu Musa Ash'ari reported that he went to 'Umar b. Khattab and greeted him by saying

As-Salamu-'Alaikum, here is 'Abdullah b. Qais, but he did not permit him (to get in). He (Abu Musa Ash'ari) again greeted him with as-Salamu-'Alaikum and said: Here is Abu Musa, but he (Hadrat 'Umar) did not permit him (to get in). He again said: As-Salam-u-'Alaikum, (and said) here is Ash'ari, (then receiving no response he came back). He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Bring him back to me, bring him back to me So he went there (in the presence of Hadrat 'Umar) and he said to him: Abu Musa, what made you go back, while we were busy in some work? He said: I heard Allah's Messenger (may. peace be upon him) as saying: Permission should be sought thrice. And if you are permitted, (then get in), otherwise go back. He said: Bring witness to this fact, otherwise I shall do this and that, i. e. I shall punish you. Abu Musa went away and 'Umar said to him (on his departure): It he (Abu Musa) finds a witness he should meet him by the side of the pulpit in the evening and it he does not find a witness you would not find him there. When it was evening he (Hadrat 'Umar) found him (Abu Musa) there. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Abu Musa, have you been able to find a witness to what you have said? He said: Yes. Here is Ubayy bin Ka'b, whereupon he (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Yes, he is an authentic (witness). He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Abu Tufail (the kunya of Ubayy b. Ka'b), what does he (Abu Musa say? Thereupon he said: Ibn Khattab, I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying so. Do not prove to be a hard (task-master) for the Companions of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), whereupon he Hadrat 'Umar said: Hallowed be Allah. I had heard something (in this connection), but I wished it to be established (as an undeniable fact).

This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Talha b. Yahya with the same chain of transmitters but with this variation of wording

He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Abu Mundhir (the Kunya of Ubayy b. Ka'b), did you hear this from Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)? Thereupon he said: Yes. and he further said: Ibn Khattab, do not be a torment for the Companions of Allah's Messenger (may peace he upon him). No mention has, however, been made of the words of 'Umar:" Hallowed be Allah" and what follows subsequently.

Chapter 8: It Is Disliked For The Person Who Is Seeking Permission To Say "Me" When Asked "Who Is It?"

Jabir b. Abdullah reported

I came to Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) and called him (with a view to seeking permission). whereupon Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) said: Who is it? I said: It is I. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) came out saying: It is I. it is I.

Jabir b. Abdullah reported

I sought permission from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upoh him) to see him. He said: Who is it? I said: It is I. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: It is I. it is I (these words lead me to no conclusion).

This hadith has been transmitted on the authority of Shu'ba with a slight variation of wording and that is

The Prophet (ﷺ) uttered these words: It is I. it is I." in the manner as if he disapproved of this.

Chapter 9: The Prohibition Of Looking Into A House

Sahl b. Sa'd as-Sa'id reported that a person peeped through the hole of the door of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), and at that time Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) had with him a scratching instrument with which he had been scratching his head. When Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw him. he said

If I were to know that you had been peeping through the door, I would have thrust that into your eyes, and Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Permission is needed as a protection against glance.

Sahl b. Sa'd as-Sa'idi reported that a person peeped through the hole of the door of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and he had with him some pointed thing with which he had been adjusting (the hair of his head). Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to him

If I were to know that you had been peeping. I would have thrust it in your eyes. Allah has prescribed seeking permission because of protection against glance.

This hadith has been transmitted on the authority of Sahl b. Sa'd as-Sa'idi with a slight variation of wording.

Anas b. Malik reported that a person peeped in some of the holes (in the doors) of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (and he found him) standing up (lifting) an arrow or some arrows. The narrator said

I perceived as if Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was going to pierce (his eyes).

Abu Huraira reported having heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) say

He who peeped into the house of people without their consent, it is permissible for them to put out his eyes.

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying

If a person were to cast a glance in your (house) without permission, and you had in your hand a staff and you would have thrust that in his eyes, there is no harm for you.

Chapter 10: An Accidental Glance

Jarir b. 'Abdullah reported

I asked Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) about the sudden glance (that is cast) on the face (of a non-Mahram). He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes.