The Book of Prayer - Funerals
كتاب الجنائز
Chapter 9: The deceased is tormented because of his family's crying for him
Be quiet, my daughter. Don't you know that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had said:" The deceased is punished because of his family's weeping over the death"?
The dead is punished in the grave because of wailing on it.
The same hadith is narrated on the authority of 'Umar through another chain of transmitters.
When 'Umar was wounded he fainted, and there was a loud lamentation over him. When he regained consciousness he said: Didn't you know that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:" The dead is punished because of the weeping of the living"?
O brother! Upon this 'Umar said: Suhaib, did you not know that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:" The dead is punished because of the lamentation of the living"?
What are you weeping for? Are you weeping for me? He said: By Allah, it is for you that I weep, O Commander of the believers. He said: By Allah, you already know that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had said: He who is lamented upon is punished. I made a mention of it to Musa b. Talha, and he said that 'A'isha told that it concerned the Jews (only).
O Hafsa, did you not hear the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying:" One who is lamented would be punished"? Suhaib also lamented over him. 'Umar told him also: O Suhaib, didn't you know that one who is lamented is punished?
I was sitting by the side of Ibn 'Umar, and we were waiting for the bier of Umm Aban, daughter of 'Uthman, and there was also 'Amr b. 'Uthman. In the meanwhile there came Ibn 'Abbas led by a guide. I conceive that he was informed of the place of Ibn 'Umar. So he came till he sat by my side. While I was between them (Ibn 'Abbas and Ibn 'Umar) there came the noise (of wailing) from the house. Upon this Ibn 'Umar said (that is, he pointed out to 'Amr that he should stand and forbid them, for): I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying: The dead is punished because of the lamentation of his family. 'Abdullah made it general (what was said for a particular occasion). Ibn 'Abbas said: When we were with the Commander of the believers, 'Umar b. Khattab, we reached Baida', and there was a man under the shadow of the tree. He said to me: Go and inform me who is that person. So I went and (found) that he was Suhaib. I returned to him and said: You commanded me to find out for you who that was, and he is Suhaib. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: Command him to see us. I said: He has family along with him. He said: (That is of no account) even if he has family along with him. So he (the narrator) told him to see (the Commander of the believers and his party). When we came (to Medina), it was before long that the Commander of the believers was wounded, and Suhaib came weeping and crying: Alas for the brother, alas for the companion. Upon this 'Umar said: Didn't you know, or didn't you hear, that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:" The dead is punished because of the lamentation of his family"? Then 'Abdullah made it general and 'Umar told it of certain occasions. So I ('Abdullah b. Abu Mulaika) stood up and went to 'A'isha and told her what Ibn 'Umar had said. Upon this she said: I swear by Allah that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) never said that dead would be punished because of his family's lamenting (for him). What he said was that Allah would increase the punishment of the unbeliever because of his family's lamenting for him. Verily it is Allah Who has caused laughter and weeping. No bearer of a burden will bear another's burden. Ibn Abu Mulaika said that al-Qasim b. Muhammad said that when the words of 'Umar and Ibn 'Umar were conveyed to 'A'isha, she said: You have narrated it to me from those who are neither liar nor those suspected of lying but (sometimes) hearing misleads.
The daughter of 'Uthman b. 'Affan died in Mecca. We came to attend her (funeral). Ibn 'Umar and Ibn 'Abbas were also present there, and I was sitting between them. He added: I (first sat) by the side of one of them, then the other one came and he sat by my side. 'Abdullah b. 'Umar said to 'Amr b. 'Uthman who was sitting opposite to him: Will you not prevent the people from lamenting, for the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had said:" The dead is punished because of the lamenting of his family for him"? Ibn 'Abbas then said that Umar used to say someting of that nature, and then narrated saying: I proceeded from Mecca along with 'Umar till we reached al-Baida' and there was a party of riders under the shade of a tree. He said (to me): Go and find out who this party is. I cast a glance and there was Suhaib (in that party). So I informed him ('Umar) about it. He said: Call him to me. So I went back to Suhaib and said: Go and meet the Commander of the believers. When 'Umar was wounded, Suhaib came walling: Alas, for the brother! alas for the companion! 'Umar said: O Suhaib, do you wail for me, whereas the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:" The dead would be punished on account of the lamentation of the (members of his family)"? Ibn 'Abbas said: When 'Umar died I made a mention of it to 'A'isha. She said: May Allah have mercy upon 'Umar! I swear by Allah that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) never said that Allah would punish the believer because of the weeping (of any one of the members of his family), but he said that Allah would increase the punishment of the unbeliever because of the weeping of his family over him. 'A'isha said: The Qur'an is enough for you (when it states):" No bearer of burden will bear another's burden" (vi. 164). Thereupon Ibn 'Abbas said: Allah is He Who has caused laughter and weeping. Ibn Abu Mulaika said: By Allah, Ibn 'Umar said nothing.
We were with the bier of Umm Aban, daughter of 'Uthman, and the rest of the hadith is the same, but he did not narrate it as a marfu' hadith on the authority of 'Umar from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as it was narrated by Ayyub and Ibn Juraij, and the hadith narrated by them (Ayyub and Ibn Juraij) is more complete than that of 'Amr.
The dead is punished because of the lamentation of the living.
May Allah have mercy upon Abu 'Abd al-Rahman (the kunya of Ibn 'Umar) that he heard something but could not retain it (well). (The fact is) that the bier of a Jew passed before the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and (the members of his family) were waiting over him. Upon this he said: You are wailing and he is being punished.
He (Ibn 'Umar) missed (the point). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had (in fact) said: He (the dead) is punished for his faults or for his sins, and the members of his family are wailing for him now. (This misunderstanding of Ibn 'Umar is similar to his saying: ) The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) stood by the well in which were lying the dead bodies of those polytheists who had been killed on the Day of Badr, and he said to them what he had to say, i. e.: They hear what I say. But he (Ibn 'Umar) misunderstood. The Prophet (ﷺ) had only said: They (the dead) understand that what I used to say to them was truth. She then recited:" Certainly, thou canst not make the dead hear the call" (xxvii. 80), nor can you make those hear who are in the graves, nor can you inform them when they have taken their seats in Hell.
This hadith has been narrated by Ibn 'Urwa with the same chain of transmitters. The hadith narrated by Abu Usama is more complete.
The dead is punished because of the lamentation of the living. Upon this 'A'isha said: May Allah have mercy upon the father of 'Abd al-Rahman (Ibn 'Umar). He did not tell a lie, but he forgot or made a mistake. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) happened to pass by a (dead) Jewess who was being lamented. Upon this he said: They weep over her and she is being punished in the grave.
I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying: He who is lamented upon would be punished because of the lamentation for him on the Day of judgment.
A hadith like this has been narrated by Mughira b. Shu'ba from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).
This hadith has been narrated from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) through another chain of transmitters.
Chapter 10: Stern warning against wailing
Among my people there are four characteristics belonging to pre-Islamic period which they do not abandon: boasting of high rank, reviling other peoples' genealogies, seeking rain by stars, and walling. And he (further) said: If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange.
I was looking (at him) through the crevice of the door. A man came to him and mentioned that Ja'far's women were lamenting. He (the Holy Prophet) commanded him to go and forbid them (to do so). So he went away but came back and told (him) that they did not obey (him). He commanded him a second time to go and forbid them (to do so). He again went but came back to him and said: I swear by God, Messenger of Allah, that they have overpowered us. She ('A'isha) said that she thought the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had told (her) to throw dust in their mouths. Thereupon 'A'isha said: May Allah humble you! You did not do what Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) ordered you, nor did you stop annoying Allah's Messenger (ﷺ).