Marriage

كتاب النكاح

Chapter 30: The Treatment of Wives, and the Rights of each - Section 1

‘Abdallah b. Zam'a reported God’s Messenger as saying, “None of you must whip his wife as a slave is whipped and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day.” A version has, “One of you has recourse to whipping his wife as a slave is whipped and perhaps he lies with her at the end of the day.” He then gave them an exhortation about laughing when someone breaks wind, saying, “Why does one of you laugh at what he does himself?” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

‘A’isha said

I was playing with dolls in the Prophet’s house and I had companions who played with me; but when God’s Messenger entered they would withdraw from him. He would then send them to me and they would play with me. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

She said

I swear by God that I have seen the Prophet standing at the door of my room when the Abyssinians were playing with spears in the mosque and God’s Messenger was covering me with his cloak in order that I might look over his shoulder* at their sport. He would then stand for my sake till I was the one who departed; so estimate the time a young girl eager for amusement would wait.”* Literally “between his ear and his shoulder.”(Bukhari and Muslim.)

She told that God’s Messenger said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me and when you are angry with me.” She asked how he knew that and he replied that when she was pleased with him she said, ‘'No, by Muhammad’s Lord,” but when she was angry with him she said, “No, by Abraham's Lord.” She then said, “I swear by God, Messenger of God, that that is so; it is only your name that I omit.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Abu Huraira reported God's Messenger as saying, “When a woman who has been called to come to her husband’s bed refuses and he spends the night angry, the angels curse her till the morning.” In a version by both of them he said, “By Him in whose hand my soul is, if any woman who has been called to come to her husband’s bed refuses, He who is in heaven is displeased with her till her t husband is pleased with her.”(Bukhari and Muslim.)

Asma’ told of a woman who said, “Messenger of God, I have a fellow-wife; will it be wrong for me to boast of receiving from my husband what he does not give me?” He replied, “The one who boasts of receiving what he has not been given is like him who has put on the two garments of falsehood.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Anas said that God’s Messenger swore he would stay away from his wives for a month. His foot being dislocated, he stayed in an upper room for twenty-nine nights and then came down; and when it was remarked to him that he has sworn to stay away for a month, he replied, “The month has twenty-nine days.”**This is most probably with reference to the month in question, as it cannot be considered a general statement.Bukhari transmitted it.

Jabir said

Abu Bakr came and asked permission to go in to see the Prophet, but found the people seated at his door, none of them having been given permission. Permission was, however, given to Abu Bakr and he entered. ‘Umar then came forward, and when he had asked and had been granted permission he found the Prophet sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He told that he decided to say something which would make the Prophet laugh, so he said, “Messenger of God, I wish you had seen the daughter of Kharija when she asked me for extra money and I got up and slapped her on the neck.” God's Messenger laughed and said, “They are around me as you see asking for extra money.” Abu Bakr then got up, went to ‘A’isha and slapped her on the neck, and ‘Umar did the same to Hafsa, both of them saying, “Are you asking God’s Messenger for what he does not possess?” They all replied, “We swear by God that we never ask God’s Messenger for anything he does not possess.” Thereafter he withdrew from them for a month or twenty-nine days. Then this verse came down, “O prophet, say to your wives ... for those who do well among you a great reward” (Al-Qur’an 33:28 f). He then went first to ‘A’isha and said, “I want to propound something to you, ‘A’isha, but wish no hasty reply before you consult your parents.” When she had asked him what it was and he had recited the verse to her she said, “Shall I consult my parents about you, Messenger of God? Nay, I choose God, His Messenger, and the final abode; but I ask you not to tell any of your wives what I have said.” He replied, “Not one of them will ask me without my informing her. God did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but sent me to teach and make things easy.” Muslim transmitted it.

‘A’isha said

Being jealous of the women who offered themselves to God's Messenger I asked, “Does a woman offer herself?” Then when God most high sent down, “You may defer any of them you wish and take to yourself any you wish, and if you desire any you have set aside no sin is chargeable to you” (Al-Qur’an 33:51) said, “It seems to me that your Lord hastens to satisfy your desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Chapter 31: The Treatment of Wives, and the Rights of each - Section 2

'A'isha told that when she was with God's Messenger on a journey she raced him on foot and beat him, but when she grew she raced him and he beat her. He said, “This makes up for that beating." Abu Dawud transmitted it.

She reported God's Messenger as saying, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. When one of you dies speak no ill of him." Tirmidhi and Darimi transmitted it, and Ibn Majah transmitted it up to “to my family” on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas.

Anas reported God’s Messenger as saying, “When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she wishes.”** A way of saying nothing will prevent her from entering paradise. Abu Nu'aim transmitted it in al-Hilya.

Abu Huraira reported God’s Messenger as saying, “If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband." Tirmidhi transmitted it.

Umm Salama reported God’s Messenger as saying, “Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter paradise." Tirmidhi transmitted it.

Talq b. ‘Ali reported God’s Messenger as saying, “When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven.”Tirmidhi transmitted it.

Mu'adh reported the Prophet as saying that no woman annoys her husband in this world without his wife among the large-eyed maidens saying, “You must not annoy him. God curse you! He is only a passing guest with you and is about to leave you to come to us.”Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it, Tirmidhi saying this is a gharib tradition.

Hakim b. Mu'awiya al-Qushairi quoted his father as telling that he asked

“Messenger of God, what right can any wife demand of her husband?’’ He replied, “That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not strike her on the face, and do not revile her or separate from her except in the house” (Al-Quran 4:34). Ahmad, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Laqit b. Sabira told that he said, “Messenger of God, I have a wife who has something in her tongue,” meaning foul speech. He told him to divorce her, but when he replied that he had a son from her and she was a companion, he said, “Give her a command (meaning give her an exhortation), and if there is any good in her she will accept it; but do not beat your wife as you would beat your young slave-girl.” Abu Dawud transmitted it.

Iyas b. ‘Abdallah reported God’s Messenger as saying, “Do not beat God’s handmaidens;” but when ‘Umar came to God’s Messenger and said, “The women have become emboldened towards their husbands,” he gave licence to beat them. Then many women went round God’s Messenger’s family complaining of their husbands, and he said, “Many women have gone round Muhammad’s family complaining of their husbands. Those are not the “best among you.” Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it.

Abu Huraira reported God’s Messenger as saying, “He who makes a wife disaffected towards her husband or a slave towards his master is not one of us.” Abu Dawud transmitted it.